My Crazy Life

Girls Road Trip!

At the end of June my cousin Paige had a baby shower so my sister, my niece Emma, and I loaded up for a girl’s road trip to eastern Idaho.  It was the first road trip with my sister which was fun!  Our first pit stop was to a friend’s house in Kimberly Idaho to see their Arabian horses.  They had 3 little babies that were just too cute!!  Their horses are people friend so you could get right in the coral with them.  I was in heaven!  Emma even got up on one of the mother horses and rode around a little.  It was hard to leave.

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Our next stop was Pocatello!  We spent the next two days with family.  It was fun to catch up with everyone.

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The best part was the baby shower!  They did such a cute job of setting up for the shower.  It looked like a room right out of Pinterest.  I just love all the little baby gifts too, just so much fun!

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On Sunday we headed back home but not before stopping at Shoshone Falls.  The water flow wasn’t the best I have seen but it was still breathtaking and a great place for a pit stop.  It was a fun weekend and I love our weekend girl road trip.

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Summer Cabin Fun

It’s crazy how fast this summer came and went.  It was a summer of good memories with filled with family and friends.  Ones of those was memories was our family trip.  As tradition we stated with a little rodeo fun.  Nothing like good looking cowboys, horses, and bucking bulls!  One of my favorite family traditions for sure!

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After the rodeo we loaded up and headed up to Donnelly to stay in the family cabin for the week.  The weather was perfect!  Days were spent outside reading, sitting by the lake, eating good food, riding jet skis, playing in the sand and laying in the sun.

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Evenings we spent watching the sun set, making smores,  playing card games and laughing.  I loved every second of it!

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One of my favorite parts when I was able to go horse ridding up in the mountains.  There is just something about being on a horse that makes my heart happy!  I loved that I could spend it with family with some of my family too.

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It was sad to see the week come to an end but is a week I will never forget.

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Loss

Every now and then you find out news that is like a punch in the gut.  On September 17, I found out tragically one of my good friends lost his young wife after compilations from major surgery.  Krystal Wad was only 25 years old.  If you were ever lucky enough to meet Krystal she had a warm personality and a big heart.  Every time I saw her she had a smile on her face and a kind word to say.  Krystal and Justin meet in high school and shortly after graduation they were engaged.  On May 10, 2008 they were married and on March 26, 2009 they had a little boy they named Tristan.  Krystal loved to spend time with her family and always put them first, even in her last couple of years with significant health issues.  Justin and Krystal were the kind of couple you could look at and tell they were head over heels for each other.   The news of her passing sent ripples of grief to everyone who knew her or Justin.  It was one of the few times I completely broke down at work.  My heart just broke and I felt helpless.  It has been a struggle since and I often find myself in a fog or in tears.  Food is hard to eat and it brings back memorioes from when I lost John.  My heart just hurts for Justin because I know the pain from loss and yet I can’t even imagine the pain he is feeling.  It has been amazing and heartwarming to witness everyone come together to help support Justin and Tristan.  In 3 days $10,000 was raised to help support them finically.  Today that total is over $11,000.  A group was set up to take meals out to the family and a facebook page to keep everyone updated.  On Wednesday the 24th a funeral was held for Krystal and Troopers from all over Idaho came and showed their support.  Officers included the Colonel, the Lt Colonel, Captions, Lieutenants, Sergeants, and Troopers.  After the funeral, a procession was filled with patrol vehicles; the long line emergency lights flashing as they went down the road gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes.   I was able to be a part of it and rode with my good friend Jeff (I am so thankful he was there with me!).  I am thankful I could be there to show my support and while it was hard I woudnt have missed it.   Justin is a good friend and a coworker.  I am heartbroken over the loss of Krystal and wish there was more I could do for Justin.  He wanted to pass on how thankful he is for all the love and support that has been given to him and his family.  He has read every text, every card, every facebook post, and listened to every phone message, it means more to him then he can say.    Krystal will be greatly missed by all those who knew her.

Its times like this you realize how quickly things can change and what your priorities in life should be.  It also makes me so thankful for the people in my life and I hope they all know how much they mean to me.  I love you Justin, you are in my thoughts and prayers and if you ever need anything at all please let me know.

J and K Ward

 

ATC #41

On July 11th ISP ATC #41 graduation.  I had a lot of fun working with this group and enjoyed every chance I got to work with them.  Graduation is always a fun, crazy day.  Here are some of my favorite pictures from the day.  Congrats ATC 41!  Good luck on the road and stay safe!

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Aunt Day at the Zoo

In June I was craving an Aunt Shauna day so I asked my sister if I could steal Emma and Austin for the day.  I had never just taken these two out and I was excited to get to spend a little more time with them!  We loaded up and headed to the Zoo where I meet up with Jen and her kids.

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It was fun to watch them explore and get excited or different animals.

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The zoo also had dinosaurs set up around the zoo and it was fun to watch the kids trying to figure out if they were real or not.

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After the zoo and saying good bye to Jen and the kids we headed over to the park for a little picnic.  On the way back to the car we walked through the Rose garden, Emma loved all the pink ones!

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We also stopped by the Abraham Lincoln statue.  He was a little big and scary to Austin but Emma loved him.  She looks so small next to him!

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On the way home I looked back to find this and couldn’t help but smile.

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I loved every second of our little adventure!  Here are to many more adventures to come!

Twins Turn 7!

This year the twins turned 7.  After their last baseball game my sister and a small family birthday party at her house.  It was fun to watch them open the gifts and then look at each other and see quickly what the other one opened.  I love these boys and I am thankful to be their aunt.  IMG_1431

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Twin Last Baseball Game

I love that my sister and her kids live close so I can go to as many of the kids events that I can.  June 28th the boys played their last baseball game of the season.  It has been fun to see the improvement with each game.  Plus they just looked cute in their little baseball outfits!  Here are some picture highlights from the game.  Love you boys!

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Darkness

I have so many blogs to catch up on; it’s crazy how fast this summer is going.  That being said I felt like I needed to write down my feelings right now.  There is so much going through my head, some is good some, well not so good, but honestly most of my thoughts are how thankful I am.  I am coming up on 3 years of being divorced.  Since the divorce I find that as summer rolls around I often find myself evaluating my life.  This year has been no different.  Then yesterday the world learned Robin Williams took his own life.  He was a guy who brought a so much happiness and laughter to so many and yet like many others had demons of his own.  It’s heartbreaking he couldn’t take it anymore.

be kind

It took me back to how I felt 3 years ago.  I thought I knew depression.  I had suffered heartbreaking loss, watched dreams crumble, had friends turn on me, boys break my heart, but I never really knew what depression was until that summer 3 years ago.  It wasn’t just the fact that I was having my marriage ripped out from under me, it was, as they often say, the straw that broke the camel’s back.  The tears, upset stomach, migraines, and feeling brokenhearted I expected.  What I didn’t expect was the absolute feeling of darkness and emptiness that cannot be put into words.  The days I could cry or scream I could handle.  It was the days that my mind shut off, where I couldn’t think, I felt in a fog, I couldn’t feel and I couldn’t cry.  It was hell on earth.  I felt absolutely nothing.  I was empty, loss, and not alive anymore.  I felt as if I was done.  I wanted to fade out of this life.  I truly felt that I was more of a burden to those who loved me because I could see the hurt I was causing them with my pain.  I wish it on no one.  I look back on those days and months and even year and I thank God for the people he put in my life.  I was blessed with friends and family who loved me so much that I was watched around the clock.  Just when I needed a smile, a hug, a text or phone call I would get it.  I also knew right away I was in trouble and asked for help.  I had the guns taken out of my house and I went to counseling.  The thoughts in my head terrified me but I knew I couldn’t let them win.  I have some of the most amazing family and friends who loved me even when I was at my lowest.  I am also so thankful I knew when to ask for help.  It wasn’t easy and at the time made me feel humiliated.  It’s even hard to write about it now.  I am so much stronger then I was before.  I still have my bumps in the road from time to time and it is something I am still working on but my future feels so bright! I can tell you the girl I am today is so much stronger and happier than I ever thought I could be.  My life is still not how I dreamed it would be but at the same time it is a good life!  Thank you God for blessing me with an amazing group of people.  I am so thankful for those who didn’t give up on me, but most of all I am thankful I didn’t give up on myself.  You never know what demons someone may be facing so be kind to each other!  Remember at the same time that you are worth it, keep your head up and look for the good for every day there is something to be thankful for!  Here are a couple of my favorite quotes.

think

stronger

dark

friends

Keep going

Good

One of my friends sent me this and I love it so I had to post it.

Dog

 

I am thankful for my sweet, stubborn, loving dog Molly.  No matter what mood I am in she loves me for me.  She has gotten me through some tough days and scary nights.  Love this girl!

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May

I have no idea where May went, it flew by and now we are almost halfway through June.  The older I get the fast time goes, its crazy.  Since May was a good month I wanted to write a few blogs but decided it would be fun to just do a quick glance at May.  So here is a quick (well ok so not quick, but there are a ton of pictures!) recap, enjoy!

With the help of my family and I couple friends I cleaned up and added flowers to my yard.  LOVE all the color!

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I also added fun lights to my backyard, love it!

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Took pictures of the Idaho Peace Officers Memorial.  It was a week to reflect on the officers who been killed in the line of the duty which is very important to me.

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I was able to go to Emma’s dance recital.   She was too cute!

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Celebrated Mothers day which my family and my BFF always work hard to make special for me.

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Taught CPR to some new soon to be Troopers.

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Taught CPR to the woman in my ward.

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Read outside as often as I could.

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Enjoyed the view from my yard.

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Lunch with my BFF.

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Made freezer meals with my Mom and sister.

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Went to a friends promotion to Sgt.

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Time with the kids.

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Went to the twins baseball game.  They are so cute in those little uniforms!

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Celebrated my birthday at work a few days early since I ended up taking a full week off work during my birthday week.  It was so nice to have a mini vacation and so needed!

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Went and placed flowers on the graves of my love ones who have passed.

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Went to this sweet girls 1st birthday.

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And had a birthday BBQ at my house full of good friends.

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May was just a good month.  I am so lucky to have the people in my life I do, life is just good.